


Zombies

by Daegaer



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Established Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Zombies, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-15
Updated: 2007-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-14 15:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2197572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo and Hakkai fight off zombies. Originally written for Louise Lux.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louise_lux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louise_lux/gifts).



"Zombies," Gojyo muttered in disgust. "Who let Nii watch horror movies? Ow!"

"Sorry, sorry," Hakkai said cheerfully, winding the bandages a little tighter. "There we go. Now, you just rest and prepare to repel any of the good doctor's zombie minions who try to break in while we go out there and fight them in the streets."

Gojyo looked round the village hall, packed with old ladies, winsome children and a few smart-ass boys.

"This is a fucking cliché," he said. "In this sort of situation it's the heroic second lead who's the one to get dragged out through the window while the zombies pull out and devour his intestines in a surprisingly convincing special effect. I'm out of here, who the fuck wants his guts clawed out?"

Hakkai looked at him disapprovingly and Gojyo felt sorry for reminding him of the whole guts hanging out episode.

"Tsk," he tutted. "You're already wounded, and I need all my chi to fight off the undead horde. Stay here and guard the women and children, you'll be fine. Anyway, what do you mean, "second lead"? Gojyo felt vaguely warmed that he was the hero to Hakkai, till Hakkai went on, "Obviously Sanzo's the protagonist, but really, I thought it was obvious _I'm_ the second lead."

 _Bastard_ , Gojyo thought, glaring up at the smug little grin. Then the worry came back. What if Hakkai were the one to get his guts eaten?

"Wait," he said. "Before you go – I want to give you something to protect you." He rummaged in his pocket, clasped what he found firmly to his forehead, concentrating hard, then handed it over.

"It's . . . a condom," Hakkai said, turning the little foil-wrapped packet over and over.

Gojyo shrugged. "You've always said anyone could learn to manipulate their chi, and that for protective amulets what was important was the maker and user had to really believe in their protective qualities. Durex has never let us down yet."

Hakkai looked at him like he'd really lost it this time, then smiled his usual happy smile. "How true! Now I know I'll be safe out there. I'll see you soon, Gojyo." With a little pat on Gojyo's cheek he turned and strode over to where Sanzo was tapping his foot impatiently and Goku was bouncing up and down with excitement. They went out the door, and a couple of village lads slammed it shut behind them. Gojyo took out his smokes and lit up, looking round to identify the prettiest girls, most of whom were already looking at him with interest. That was the good thing about horror movies, he thought. Doomed teenagers in them never wanted to die as virgins.

"Now then," he said, "Who wants to get your heroic defender a beer, or at least a cup of coffee?"

It was heartwarming to see how many leapt at the chance.


End file.
